lennonalive

Sometimes I feel like I'm 7 again. 

    lennon cox

I'm sitting on the buddy bench and digging into the dirt with the edge of my jelly sandal. It's itchy and hot out in the slick, humid way that coats your shoulders with sweat and debris. My barber messed up my hair a few weeks ago because I told my mom that it was uncomfortable. In truth, I was maybe just tired of it being braided all the time. So the barber cut it short, but in an awkward way that sat on my chubby face like an ill-fitting dishwater blonde hat. Basically, it looks bad. I fail to tuck it behind my ear and think about how human I am. I like to remind myself sometimes. That I'm a living, breathing kid who was born on earth and not some other dimension where everyone is intensely clumsy. I just don’t understand why my humanness is any different from that of the other kids. I'm friends with trees, bugs, and sticks, and I don't think that really helps my case. I just stick to myself and wonder how to make friends without having to talk to them.

I sit in my backyard and look at the squirrels still. I listen to the birds and call back to them. I have lots of friends now, and I wonder if it's because I finally got a copy of the book that teaches you how to meet people who love you the right way. Little me maybe just didn't get it yet.

So much of the time, I seem to be the only person in the room who doesn't know how to speak. But I'd say that when I'm with Church, Nick, or Noe, they help me remember. Honestly, I don’t understand fucking anything at all. It's nice when I can talk to people who kind of do, at least sometimes.

thank u for reading if u made it this far , love u blabies <3